It was a Wednesday in early September that I verified that I was, in fact, pregnant. I was a few days late and I couldn’t stop wondering about it, so I skipped my Wednesday class and went to CVS to get a pregnancy test. Of course, being a total self-conscious dork, I couldn’t just buy that so I wandered around the store and picked up a few random other things (including chocolate truffles, which seemed to make sense to me somehow). I got home, ate a chocolate, and took the test. Positive. Clear as day. I’m not really sure what I did next. Probably at some more chocolate …

I was unable to think of a good way to tell Chris before he got home (not that he’d be surprised, we were trying to get pregnant and he knew I was late). I was making dinner and being probably a little quiet when finally I said “So, I took a pregnancy test today.” To which he replied, “Oh? And?” And I said, “It was positive. I don’t want to talk about it.” Oh yes, that’s what I said … cringe. I am pretty sure I stumped him … I would guess he was thinking “not talk about it?? how can we not talk about it?” I wasn’t upset, I just hadn’t really processed through it and didn’t know what to say. I think I was just in shock. I truly did not think I would get pregnant the very first month we tried. My theory is that God knew that if it took very long, I would chicken out ha! And revert back to the whole “let’s not have kids” mindset. Anyway, I very much regret not telling Chris in a more creative, more joyful way. Alas…

The next day, I went to Wal-Mart on a break between classes. I called my Ob-Gyn office and made an appointment after talking to a nurse for awhile. At Wal-Mart, I got some crackers and pre-natal vitamins. I had not told anyone but Chris so I went to the self checkout line. The lady manning the lines called me over so she could check me out, which I did not want to do (self-conscious dork) but felt I had to. Of course she had to comment on my purchase! I just felt weird that a total stranger knew my news before my family.

That Saturday, I took another pregnancy test, sort of a reenactment if you will, so that we could have a different experience to replace the original announcement and take some photos. We then called each of our parents to tell them the news – they were ecstatic. I think my next move was to find a pregnancy app for my phone – which I have loved. It told me a fruit or vegetable each week which was comparable to the baby in size, as well as telling me specifics about the baby’s growth and what changes to expect with my body. It’s called “I’m Expecting” and is created by MedHelp.

The hardest part for me during the early weeks was not telling anyone! I think we agreed to each tell one person (other than parents) and then told a few more after the first doctor appointment (which was at 8 weeks), finally feeling okay about announcing it to the world after the 12-week visit. In fact, I saw the doctor on Friday November 2, and posted it on Facebook on Saturday the 3rd. But until then, I’m walking around trying to act like nothing major is going on in my life, and all I can think is “I’m pregnant. I’m going to be a mom. Holy crap.” And it’s just totally opposite my persona to not talk about what I’m thinking about!

I should mention that between my 8-week visit and my 12-week visit, I switched doctors (and practices). I probably had too high of expectations for my first visit. It just seemed like a huge deal to me, and when my doctor of about 7 years didn’t act like it was a big deal, I was let down. I realize pregnancy is what she deals with most days, but it was brand new for me, and I felt like she was abrupt and I felt rushed and slightly defensive. I was also anxious about the practice because it had just gone from being independent to being bought by a large corporate entity, which affected a lot of process changes, and most of the staff were still unsure about what was changing and how. So I talked to a friend of mine and she highly recommended her doctor and practice  and I made the decision to switch. I am so thankful … my doctor and the other doctors I’ve seen at the practice have been wonderful. At the 12-week visit, she asked what my concerns were, and I mentioned that one of them was my age (36 at the time). She said she had two daughters, born when she was 35 and 37, and everything was fine. I loved hearing that. She also recommended a relatively new test which just used a blood sample from the mother and could tell if the baby has down syndrome (more common in older mothers) as well as two other chromosome defects … and it would also reveal the gender (being that it tested chromosomes). We opted to do it and got the results about 10 days later. I will never forget the moment when I heard “the tests were all negative and you’re having a baby girl.” I was so thrilled! I really wanted a girl 🙂

In general, my first 18 weeks of pregnancy were a bit of a blur. I was taking three science classes and working and I just kept thinking that any plans having to do with the baby (other than seeing the doctor) would have to wait until the semester and then the holidays were over. I definitely didn’t feel great the first 10-12 weeks but I wasn’t very sick either. I did fine if I kept some food in my tummy … usually crackers. I was way more sensitive to motion so riding the shuttle on campus was torture. I got a doctor’s note so that I could park close enough to class to avoid the shuttle … I felt self-conscious (again) hanging a temporary handicapped tag in my car when nobody could tell to look at me what was up but that parking pass made my life so much easier… and I figured I deserved that somehow ha!

I made the decision in mid-November not to enroll in classes for the Spring. Finals were scheduled for May 3-9 and my due date was May 13. That was just cutting it too close! I considered taking a couple of online classes but came to the conclusion that a semester off was the way to go. I am so glad I made that decision. It has been great to be able to just work from home and get ready for the baby. As far as school goes, I am planning to go back and complete the forensic science degree, I’m just not sure when.

Other than not telling people, the next hardest thing for me about the first half of my pregnancy was growing out of my normal clothes but not yet fitting into the maternity clothes. Especially jeans! I started gaining weight right away and pretty soon had no jeans that fit. I remember going to a Motherhood Maternity outlet and trying on jeans … nothing fit right and the lady basically said to come back when I was more pregnant. Ugh! On the recommendation of my sister, I bought some things here and there from Old Navy (they don’t sell maternity clothes in most of their stores, but they do online). Their prices were great and some of their jeans came in bigger sizes and tall lengths. I got most of my maternity clothes there (a few other things from Kohl’s and from Macy’s) and have been super happy with them. I also was able to keep wearing a lot of my normal clothes that were already oversized and/or have elastic waistbands (just wear it under the belly). Shoes were another story entirely. I started swelling right away and most of my shoes didn’t fit. I had a good sob after shoe shopping at one store, but my awesome husband instructed me to try another store (where I had more success) and then offered to take me to a nice dinner. At this point, ending week 37, well, let’s just say that I’m so thankful it’s flip-flop weather! And I really hope my feet don’t grow a size after the swelling stops as I’ve been told they will … I already wear an 11! Those are already hard to find!

Typically, they do the first major ultrasound at week 20 which for me was the week of Christmas. So we had ours in January, on the 8th, and my mother-in-law was able to join us. I was so relieved that everything looked great. We took home the photos and scanned them so we could share them with family … my favorite was the one of her little feet … I absolutely love baby feet!

As time went on, we started to make plans for the nursery (see Nursery blog) and discuss names. The naming thing was much harder than we anticipated! For me, it was totally different to come up with hypothetical names when there was not an actual child yet but it was a whole new ballgame when it’s real! We even had one pretty big fight about it (mostly because I was a hormonal mess) and I remember saying “this is supposed to be fun!” Everyone kept saying there was no rush and plenty of people name their babies in the hospital. That’s all very true, but I wanted to get it decided. Just how I am. Finally, we agreed to use my mom’s middle name, Elizabeth, for her first name but change the “z” to an “s” and call her Ellie. Her middle name Rose is for Chris’ mom Rosemary. I love it not just because it’s pretty but because it also has that wonderful meaning behind it and we’ll be able to tell her she is named for both of her grandmothers.

After a relatively easy second trimester, the third trimester hit me like a ton of bricks. I had bad heartburn and acid reflux, so much fatigue, back pain and my left wrist hurt so bad I could not hold anything with my left hand. It turns out that pregnancy makes you more susceptible to carpal tunnel. It got better with icing and wearing a brace but at this point, I basically have carpal tunnel in both of my wrists as well as a sore area in my left shoulder/neck area that won’t go away completely until after I have the baby (and then it might take up to 10 days). For a few weeks now, when people ask how I am, I say “Okay. That’s about as good as it gets these days.” And laugh. Because it is slightly humorous! I am very uncomfortable and sore and man, my feet are HUGE and nothing really helps the swelling go down. And recently, my skin started itching like crazy! But it’s all normal … normal in the way that many, but not all, pregnant women experience what I’m experiencing. Everyone’s bodies react differently but at least I’m relatively healthy. Each doctor’s visit brings a good report of my blood pressure and Ellie’s heartbeat. We even did a second ultrasound at week 35 and everything looked great. We got some adorable 3D images too! She is considered full-term now so she could come at any time. I feel like I’ve had some Braxton Hicks contractions here and there. I feel mostly prepared for labor, between advice from my sister and sisters-in-law, books and the childbirth education class we took at the hospital. I’m still slightly nervous about it but that feeling is overwhelmed by the desire to hold my daughter and be more comfortable. We live about ten minutes away from the hospital so that’s a huge plus. We still need to pack the hospital bags and put the carseat in the car. We have some plans this week, through Friday night, so it’d be best if she came May 4th or later. The not knowing is so hard for me! But I trust God’s timing and look forward to having my very own “birth story” soon!